Make You Feel My Love

In a room filled with people, strangers, friends even a unsettling feeling falls into me. Comes to me like an old friend that was meant to be by my side. Only I didn't want or need it's company. I've tried for a while now to understand why I feel so empty so to speak. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I'm lonely. I see my friends with people they genuinely love and I'm happy for them as any real friend should be. But I can't help thinking that that will never be me, that I will never find someone to hold me, care about me, love me. And even as I type, it sounds beyond ridiculous because I'm only 21 and I have my whole life ahead of me. But how many 21 year olds do you know that have never even kissed anyone? Damn, I'd make some great lifetime, pathetic movie with Drew Barrymore as the star.

Are my standards too high? Am I too fat? Too ugly? Too shy? I don't know what is wrong with me, but I know self confidence is one of them and I know that I will probably have to endure being alone for a while longer and learn that I probably won't find that guy at a party or in a club. Why do others get it so easily and it seems like I have to fight for everything I want? Pity Party is over for now.